There is no set amount of sex that is healthy. It all depends on each couple and their libido. However, daily sex may lead to increased happiness for some couples.
It can be easy to feel pressure from your friends or the media about how often you should have sex. But, it’s important to remember that sex is not the only way to keep a relationship happy.
How often should couples have sex?
There is no one answer to the question of how often couples should have sex. In general, it’s a good idea to have sex as often as is mutually satisfying. However, interest in sex can wax and wane throughout a relationship. Some people may want to have sex every day, while others may be satisfied with once a week or once a month. It’s important to be able to communicate with your partner about sexual needs and expectations.
It’s also worth noting that the frequency of sex can vary based on age, health, and life events. For example, many young couples tend to have more sex than older couples. Additionally, a recent study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that on average, married couples have sex 54 times a year (or about once a week).
Still, it’s not always easy to feel like your sex life measures up — especially if you have friends or family members who have sex every night. If you feel like your sex life is not what it should be, you might benefit from seeking therapy with a couples counselor or sex therapist.
How often is too much sex?
Having sex on a regular basis is a vital part of any relationship. It brings you closer to your partner and allows you to be intimate and vulnerable, which is important for a strong connection. But how often is too much sex? This depends on your individual needs and circumstances. Some people may enjoy sex several times a week, while others prefer to have it less frequently.
The number of times a person has sex will vary depending on a variety of factors, including age, health conditions, hormone levels and more. For example, according to the Kinsey Institute, 18- to 29-year-olds have sex on average 112 times per year, while 30- to 39-year-olds have sex 86 times on average and 40-49-year-olds have sex about 69 times on average.
While there is no exact amount of sex that is considered too much, experts recommend listening to your body and taking breaks when needed. If you’re feeling sore or uncomfortable, that’s probably your body’s way of telling you to take a break.
Also, if you’re having sex regularly to “sort out” an argument or other issue, that’s not healthy and can actually pull away from the emotional intimacy you should be focusing on in your relationship. Finally, if you’re having sex too often just to satisfy your partner, that’s not a good thing either and can lead to problems such as infidelity.
How often is too little sex?
There is no set amount of sex that will make every couple happy. There are plenty of reasons a couple may not have sex as frequently as other couples do, from work and parenting to illness or simply feeling tired and uninterested. And that’s totally fine. “There is absolutely no standard with regard to sexual frequency, and too much versus too little varies from person to person,” says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, relationship expert and resident sexologist for Astroglide. “Some people will feel satisfied even if they don’t have sex weekly.”
However, she notes, that the same study that found that sex once per week was a predictor of happier relationships also found that couples who were intimate two or more times per week didn’t report higher satisfaction with their sex lives. So it’s important to listen to your body and have a conversation with your partner about what you each want.
If you do want to up your lovemaking game, O’Reilly recommends speaking with a sex or couples therapist together who can act as a mediator and help both parties get on the same page about what is important for them in their relationship. And remember that, while it isn’t ideal, not having sex for a long time doesn’t have any negative health effects (unless you’re not getting enough lubrication). Those who are worried about low sexual desire or the impact of infrequent sex can discuss this with a doctor or therapist and explore options like medication, therapy, lifestyle changes, or improved communication.
What if you’re not satisfied with your sex life?
There are so many factors that can affect a person’s sexual drive. These include hormones (especially during menstruation, pregnancy, and menopause), health conditions, medications, and even age. But, focusing on how often you should have sex can create a lot of stress and anxiety, especially if it’s not something that works for you and your partner.
It’s also important to remember that each couple has their own definition of a “healthy” sex life, and it’s up to you to talk about it and find a rhythm that works best for your relationship. It’s also important to try new things, and don’t be afraid to have some fun. Trying something new stimulates the brain, which can boost libido. Plus, it’s a great way to relieve stress. And, when you’re in the middle of an orgasm, your levels of oxytocin increase fivefold, which is known to alleviate headaches and aches and pains.
Ultimately, sex is a personal experience and shouldn’t be measured by any number or statistic. Putting pressure on yourself to have sex more can actually make you less satisfied, according to research. Instead, focus on the quality of your sex and how it makes you feel, rather than just checking it off your to-do list. And, don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.