Good sex in a relationship or marriage requires open communication. However, it’s not always easy to tell your partner you’re not sexually satisfied.
Letting someone know that their sex is not satisfying can be a difficult thing to do, but it’s important to do if you want your relationship to succeed. Here are some tips on how to do it.
1. Be honest.
It’s important to be honest with your partner about sexual satisfaction. This can be hard, but it will help your partner understand what you want from the relationship. You might even discover that they have some ideas on how to improve.
For example, if your partner stops texting you throughout the day or starts forgetting dates, these are signs they might not be as invested in sex as you are. They might also start to reach orgasm less frequently than they did in the past, which could be a sign that they’re bored with the routine.
It’s okay to let your partner know that you want more foreplay, more dirty talk, or more touching during sex. You should also be willing to try something new if you find that what’s working for you isn’t satisfying them. Remember, good sex comes from communication, so be open to what your partner wants. It might surprise you, but they’ll probably appreciate the feedback. Just make sure to discuss any changes you plan to make with them in advance so they’re not thrown off guard when the time comes to have this conversation.
2. Be direct.
Talking about your sex needs is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, but it can also be one of the hardest. Especially when you feel like your partner is not meeting your needs, it can be tempting to sweep the issue under the rug or try to find other reasons for your disappointment in their performance in the bedroom. However, addressing sexual dissatisfaction is a sign of a healthy relationship and can help you build intimacy in other ways too.
When it comes to talking about your sex needs with your partner, be direct and avoid making statements that are too vague. For example, saying something like, “I feel like I could be more satisfied if we had rougher sex more often,” can be confusing for your partner to understand. It’s also best to have this conversation in a safe and private space where you can both be fully present. If possible, you might even want to practice how you’re going to bring up the topic before tackling it with bae.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.
If your partner is not making you sexually satisfied, it might be time to talk about what’s going on. The solution could be as simple as adjusting your own expectations or working out what works for you. It could also be more complex, like finding other ways to feel fulfilled.
You may want to start by discussing the things you love about your relationship. For example, if you love your partner’s touch and they give you a great orgasm, that can be a wonderful thing to keep doing. You might also want to ask your partner what they enjoy about sex and try a new position or move, Fleming says.
When you have decided to talk to your partner about what’s not working, it’s important that you pick a time and place to do so when neither of you will be distracted or interrupted. It’s not a good idea to have this conversation in the middle of having sex or while you’re watching TV together. Instead, try to have it in a neutral setting so you can listen carefully and answer any questions or concerns.
4. Don’t blame your partner.
It’s important to remember that sexual frustration isn’t necessarily a reflection of your partner. In fact, it can be caused by a number of things, including mental and physical health issues, everyday life stresses, or even fatigue.
It may also be the case that they’re simply bored with sex, which is something that can easily happen in long-term relationships. “It’s not uncommon for people to lose interest in sex over time and it’s often nothing to do with you,” Lawrenz says.
If you’re not reaching orgasm after a certain period of time, it’s probably a good idea to talk about it with your partner. However, it’s a conversation that should be held in a neutral place and at a time when you can both focus on the issue without any distractions. It’s not a great idea to have this conversation right before or after sex because it can create a lot of stress and pressure for both partners. Instead, try to do it early on in your relationship so that you both have plenty of time to think about the conversation and how to resolve it.
5. Be patient.
It can be tempting to have this conversation as soon as possible, but you should make sure that you’re both ready. Avoid springing it on your partner, or they might be thrown off and shut down the conversation. Also, it’s best to have the conversation at a time when there will be no distractions.
It’s important to remember that it takes time for some people to find sexual satisfaction. If you’re patient, your partner might eventually start to turn up the heat in the bedroom again.
In addition, it’s important to consider other forms of intimacy. You might find that your sexual needs are being met in other ways, such as during conversation or non-sexual touch. By being patient and communicating openly with your partner, you might be able to work out a solution that works for both of you. If you’re having trouble, consider speaking with a professional couple’s therapist or sex therapist to help you navigate the conversation. They can also provide you with tools and techniques to bring more pleasure into your relationship.
